


So Big, So Small, So Scared, So Strong

by Element991



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Heidi is a good mom, parenting is hard and sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:15:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21910576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Element991/pseuds/Element991
Summary: Heidi checks on her son after she has a nightmare.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	So Big, So Small, So Scared, So Strong

Heidi woke up in a sweat. She wasn't sleeping much these days, and when she was she was having nightmares. When they were about Evan she would check on him, but tonight she wasn't content just standing in his doorway.

"Evan, Evan, honey," She said quietly, gently shaking the sleeping boy.

"Mom? Mom, what's wrong, what's the matter?" Evan asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Nothing, I just had a nightmare and I wanted to make sure you were okay," She told him, running her fingers through his hair.

Heidi crammed herself in bed beside Evan and held him the best she could. His cast and the fact that they were on a twin bed wasn't helping.

"Are you okay?" Evan asked, not sure what he was supposed to do.

Evan was awkwardly laying on Heidi's chest. Her arms were holding him tightly like she was afraid she was going to lose him-  because she was afraid she was going to lose him.

"I'm- I'm fine, if you're okay, I'm okay."

Evan felt guilty. He wasn't okay, but he wasn't going to bring that up right now. He didn't know how long his mom was going to be there, so he just closed his eyes and listened to her heartbeat. As he drifted off to sleep he heard her singing softly, he recognized the tune but before he could remember what it was, he was fast asleep.

Heidi laid there, her boy, who was much too big to be cradled, cradled in her arms. She laid there long after he fell asleep. She listened to his quiet snores and watched the rise and fall of his body. It was like she'd time-traveled back almost 17 years and Evan was just her newborn that she stressed over every night, getting up every hour to watch his chest rise and fall, wondering if he was sleeping okay and if those little noises he made were normal.

Heidi didn't let herself cry until she was back in her own bedroom.


End file.
